Conferences

Not the best at going to these kind of things anyway, as I always feel so uncomfortable with the breaks in between. The bits where everyone is in the same room wandering about, looking at stalls, politely smiling at each other. Unless you are a seasoned conference go-er or have arranged to go with Someone else, these bits can be so demanding.

I had one of those days yesterday. I'd arranged to attend the Trans Community conference in London for reasons in part I'll explain in my next post probably. Anyhow I was presenting in male mode as I wasn't sure if there were going to be changing facilities, but opted for "Grace" on my name tag as I was in all intent and purposes going in this mindset anyway and who knows I might bump into someone I knew.

I was in two minds about what to go and see. Pressure was in part to go to the organisational related seminars, but I had paid to go myself and perhaps I might indulge myself too? In the end I opted for the former and found out some more about the up coming Equality Bill and creating Trans inclusion policies in Health etc. I was intending to go to another but it was one of those double seminar ones which throws out your other choices. Something which we were told we had to commit to, so I reluctantly opted to leave the room before it started. This resulted in me wandering for a while, slightly miffed that I might be wasting an hour and a half before the next seminar. Jay Stewart at Gendered Intelligence was kind enough to suggest I went to the Voices in Poetry, (one of the ones I was thinking of going to for me personally previous). Jay explained though it was the second part of a double seminar it wasn't connected. So I went upstairs and there waiting at the door was Rebbecca welcoming me in. It was a great seminar/workshop with lots to learn breathing wise etc and we arranged as a group to perform two poems at the end of the day. Oh how I wish I had just in part some of Rebecca's confidence, stance and demeanor, She came across as a lovey person. I met some lovely people in that group. One or two I know elsewhere on the interweb, but I wasn't sure whether to say hello as it may be the wrong thing to do and I was in male mode as well. If they are reading this, apologies I'm exceedingly shy as well in these situations, I wasn't being intentionally rude. That was fun. In the performance we were also encouraged to show how to make silent sounds with our lips and open sounds, like a horse and a motorbike. It did anyway go down well.

It was nice as well to finally meet some transmen too. At the end of the day I was exhausted. Kicking myself about my inability to network outside the seminars, saying some ridiculous things when I tried and even dropping a cup of coffee during one conversation. Heavens! Glad I didn't change there though as there was a bit of a rush to get us out and going out in public is something I have yet to do.