It's almost time...

The tests proved good and a date has been pencilled in for the transplant to take place in mid April.


So little time and so much to do! Arrrghh! I always knew that I would have to rush around trying to sort things out, but it seems that there is a tad more to handle than even I was expecting. I won’t bore you with too much of it, (i.e. the mortgage coming up, shower needing rebuilding etc, etc), but it was compounded by the fact that my wife also broke her wrist very badly four weeks ago after a fall whilst we were walking to work. That has necessitated some additional visits to hospital, while she underwent surgery to have a plate put in etc, and additional concern as to whether it would affect any planned transplant surgery. Thankfully it didn’t. I feel the need to enquire if a season pass is available to the hospital though and if not why not because it seems like a very good idea if you ask me!


Enough about that! What about the important things? Now things are nearly upon us, we have had to look at the practicalities of it all and the effects it can have in the run up and afterwards as well. I have to say I don’t yet know what effect this will have on my ability to work afterwards. No-one does. I hope and intend to be up and about within 2-4weeks but also have to consider giving and getting support for my wife. Everyone it seems is willing to take on our son, but no-one really has considered the effects major surgery on the two of us is going to have on our needs. Work has been accommodating of the additional time at the hospital to an extent but I can see they are worried about how much support they can give. I’ll know more soon about what has been decided along those lines.


We have had to consider the what ifs?, morbid though that thought is, (and I’m fairly certain this will all go fine). What will happen if one or both of us have complications? This has led to discussions into the early hours and some soul searching. It pays to be prepared though and I would rather know that something was in place instead of nothing at all given the opportunity. It has been quite draining at times. Just need to tie up some things and write some messages.


As it becoming more general knowledge people seem to be falling into two camps, the first say “How brave” and the second “Are you scared?” I’m not entirely comfortable with the term “brave” as I don’t feel I am being so. You don’t know how you are going to respond to possibly giving a kidney until you are put in that situation. For me it wasn’t a “here we go over the top” kind of thing. It was more matter of fact and a simple reply “yes”. Someone else could just as easily spent a lifetime deliberating the question and its outcomes, or even said “No” in just the same way as I said “yes”. There is no right or wrong response except the one which is right for you. On the whole most people are keeping it to just that one ‘brave’ question. I do have a friend who is bigging it up a little and I am feeling decidedly uncomfortable with that. It just isn’t me. That doesn’t detract from the fact that in order to proceed both if us are well briefed on what to expect and the what ifs as mentioned before. Yes we are both scared. It would be unnatural not to be. We know the risks, small though they are. I am to all intent and purpose going in healthy and coming out unwell for a short while. There is the possibility I may not be fully prepared for that. I’m told it can be a bit of an anticlimax and some donors have experienced some depression afterwards. To be forewarned..., as they say, especially for me, I think can only help. Coping strategies and circle of support have help me a lot this past year or so. I’m going into this feeling strong and have been checking that the support is there afterwards.


I have been open about Grace to a close couple who have been friends for years as I said I was considering to in my last blog. This was all part of getting support and making sure that something is in place to make sure Grace isn’t relegated to one of those things whispered about and that if my son was to find out later someone could talk about it in a positive way and my reasons for not telling him yet. It went quite well. My friend admitted he couldn’t connect with it personally but accepted it all the same. There were some awkward loud questions about “So do you want to wear a dress?” etc in the middle of the pub but I think I handled it OK. It is just how he does things and no one else seemed to bat an eyelid. His other half wasn’t with us and he said he would let her know. The response couldn’t have been nicer. A text message saying, “Good for you! Keep on doing the things that make you happy” with lots of luv and hugs included. That now is a great thing to have. Acceptance. And if I’m honest something I should have done a long time ago. There just wasn’t an appropriate time before now.


Got to go and get some things done now. Prepare things in work; finish off the shower and other mundane things that need doing. Then spend a few days as a family, together, enjoying life. There has been too much heaviness recently and a bit of a break from things will do us good in readiness. Hopefully I’ll get a chance to update you before the op. If not I’ll be back here afterwards with time on my hands for a week or two or there while I recover.


Will write soon.


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