Life in Tandem

It’s strange, how on one hand things are rushing along at a headlong pace and on the other, things are just so slow, almost to the point of distraction. I’m experiencing a kind of dual time line at the moment, with both running parallel to each other.

In work I still don’t know much more about what is going to happen. However the little odds and ends I have gleaned make things look promising. It won’t be easy but it looks like, at last, I could be running a proper service, with proper input and expected outcomes. My mind is doing overtime at the moment trying to put together all the hopes and ideas into some coherent form so I’m ready for the discussions and plans that lie ahead. I almost want to cry at the prospect of some relief from having run a service largely ignored up till now by the organisation. That is what brings me down to earth again. Once bitten they say... Or in this case, several times, (shall we say slightly gnawed instead?). I have been here before, hence my slight trepidation, which is a healthy thing to have. True, I don’t know the full facts of what is going to happen yet. Nor do I know what is going to happen to my post, but the hints I’m getting suggest that my team is part of the plan this time and not just an aside. Proper slotting in and overseen from a service provision point of view too. I wait with some eager anticipation to see how this develops. I appear to be getting a raison d'être again work-wise. But let’s see.

At home things have not left much time for anything. Money is getting tighter and tempers are fraying a little at times for all sorts of reasons. Personally too I’m not getting any Grace time and I haven’t since before Christmas. I’m ashamed to say this means occasionally I have gotten grumpy when I see opportunities lost at the last minute to something else. I need to book a day or two’s me time. I need to look after myself as well, though the opportunity may not arise for a couple more weeks yet. Booking it in work though will be a boost in itself and something to look forward to. I have to say mind that moods are improving a little at home with cuddles/hugs and decent conversations reappearing. I’ve also started Tai Chi in the last few weeks. It is something which I so wanted to do over the past few years but opportunities have always seemed to clash with other things. We’re doing it in work and I have to admit after a lesson, with calming music, subdued lighting and fabulous views over the city, I am so chilled out and relaxed. I’d definitely recommend it if you’re thinking about doing Tai Chi yourself.

So with so much going on, what if anything is going so slowly? Well I haven’t yet heard anything from the hospital about my own tests and possible work up. I know it is only a few weeks, and that this is the NHS we’re talking about, but I would like to find out whether I would be a viable donor for my wife. These few weeks have felt like months paradoxically when compared to everything else going on. I’ll give it another week before chasing this up with the hospital.