Has it really been two months? Sorry it has been so long. This means a lot to catch up on. Hopefully not too much to read and if there is, nothing too dull. Let's see.
The thing on my thumb was removed at the initial consultation. A little unconventional but the doctor reckoned she could do it there and then to avoid additional discomfort etc. I wont go into details except to say the local anaesthetic didn't last the course and the stitches didn't half hurt when they were being put in. I'm afraid I wimped out, felt faint and needed to lie down for a bit afterwards. Nothing compared to what other people have to go through. I hang my head in shame! The growth went off to pathology, I haven't heard anything, and the doctor felt fairly certain it wasn't cancerous. My thumb is back to normal now, though there was a large dent for a while and everything felt weired to the touch.
Well I've finally been to another continent! North America! Canada to be precise to attend a family wedding. What fun! We could only stay there for a week and it was in a quiet(ish) town in the Prairies but it has certainly wetted our apetites to return in the future and actually see some of the country proper. The family out there were brilliant and I've found out they have proper beer there. Bliss sitting on the back porch, by the pool , enjoying the sunshine, good company and a good tasting ale in your hand. Marvellous! The Stag do and the wedding were fun as well. The hotel staff commented it was one of the best receptions they had seen. They had another downstairs at the same time "Hells Angel" style which probably wasn't, (security was involved), but I bet it was some fun too! I realised that this had been my first break since Christmas and oh how I needed it!
Slightly aside the build up to my holiday in work did the obligatory emailing across the office and usual pythonesque jokes about lumberjacks etc, (as you do). But I noticed some of my colleagues seemed a little unsure about how far to take the "Putting on women's clothing" joke, which makes me wonder do people know or suspect? Do I really worry about that? No. As much as I would prefer it not to be an open matter for the sake of my family and son at his young age, I do feel if people know they should say, albeit discreetly. Heck if they do know, it's still pretty quiet, I'm not getting any hassle and I'm the one out of the equation. It would make me feel a little easier. And I'm not going to change how I go to work either. That's not me or my agenda.
So what is my agenda? That's a good question. There are times I feel I want to do something, put something back into the TG world, on behalf of little old me. I've got a lot of experience working for organisations who do it for other causes. Met people who have started up national organisations for causes they feel passionate about and did something about them, starting small and not taking no for an answer. But what do I know of the TG world apart from my own experience and is there a place for someone who doesn't identify as TS. Is there a need for someone quite happy to carry on being me, as I am in this world. Do people like me want or need someone to be doing something in their name? Just what would that support entail? So then I think perhaps it is best to just carry on doing what I'm doing. Knowing that I am doing it as me, as I become increasingly comfortable about myself. Should being TG mean that it occupies everything that I do? Probably not. It doesn't mean I am forgetting where I have come from. It has been integrated into my culture, difficult as that can be to explain. TG culture, community and society seems to be complex, often in a state of flux and often prone to implode on itself. But I think I have a right to claim a culture integrated with my life that other people might identify with too. Still living my everyday life but being more open where I can safely, about who I am and not letting it hold me back psychologically.
Heavens did all that just come out of my own thinking! Still confused about what to do mind. Let's see what comes my way.
Till Next Time...
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